It’s needing help, but not knowing how to receive it
It’s wanting to succeed, but not having motivation to do so
It’s wanting to tell your story, but not having the courage to do so
It’s needing friends and family, but pushing them all away
It’s feeling like everyone hates you, when they only want to help
It’s being underwater, and not knowing how to swim
It’s 2:18 PM on a Sunday and I’m still a little drunk from the night before. I’m trying to escape. I’m trying to be happy or at least seem happy but it’s only a facade I can keep up when I’m not alone. Because when I am alone the darkness inside of me wins. The hardest part of all of this is knowing that the person who will truly help me rise is myself. But I feel like such a shell. I have all the potential I need to make it in the world but I don’t even know how to breathe without feeling hopeless. I write on this blog because I don’t have an outlet. I don’t have friends that I can release to. There’s something inside of me that won’t let me release to my parents. I just need someone to talk to. Someone I can tell everything to knowing that I won’t be judged or talked about. I have so much that I am keeping inside.
I want to be excited about life again.