My Depression Is 

It’s needing help, but not knowing how to receive it 

It’s wanting to succeed, but not having motivation to do so 

It’s wanting to tell your story, but not having the courage to do so 

It’s needing friends and family, but pushing them all away 

It’s feeling like everyone hates you, when they only want to help 

It’s being underwater, and not knowing how to swim 

It’s 2:18 PM on a Sunday and I’m still a little drunk from the night before. I’m trying to escape. I’m trying to be happy or at least seem happy but it’s only a facade I can keep up when I’m not alone. Because when I am alone the darkness inside of me wins. The hardest part of all of this is knowing that the person who will truly help me rise is myself. But I feel like such a shell. I have all the potential I need to make it in the world but I don’t even know how to breathe without feeling hopeless. I write on this blog because I don’t have an outlet. I don’t have friends that I can release to. There’s something inside of me that won’t let me release to my parents. I just need someone to talk to. Someone I can tell everything to knowing that I won’t be judged or talked about. I have so much that I am keeping inside. 

I want to be excited about life again. 

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10 thoughts on “My Depression Is 

  1. Oh honey. You are not alone. You are literally surrounded by countless people who feel as you do but aren’t as articulate, as brave, or as open as you are. Get outdoors if you can. Inhale deeply of the clean air. You aren’t alone ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand how you feel. Don’t try to change everything all at once. Relax and take the time you need because small steps are the key to getting over a bout of depression.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s exactly it!!! That’s just what it is like: pushing everything and everyone away. Punishing and beating yourself up in doing so. Making yourself feel smaller. More useless. Until the only thing there is, is listlessness…

    Like

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